
The other day,
President Bush was discussing his agenda for the upcoming G8 summit in Japan. In part, he said this …
**At recent summits, G8 countries have made pledges to help developing nations address challenges, from health care to education, to corruption. Now we need to show the world that the G8 can be accountable for its promises and deliver results. As I said the other day, we need people who not only make promises, but write checks, for the sake of human rights and human dignity, and for the sake of peace.**
Okay, that’s a great agenda. Health care, education, corruption. And all it requires to be “accountable” is that people write a few checks. Who knew? Now, when you’re finished saving the rest of the world, Mr. Bush, maybe you want to bring that agenda home and see what you could do for health care, education, and corruption by writing a few checks here.
But what specifically are you proposing on the subject of world hunger?
**We've got to work to confront higher food prices. I'm confident we'll be talking about energy and food. On the food issue, I've announced that the United States would make available nearly $1 billion in new resources to bolster global food security. Once again I'll be going to the G8 and talking about the great compassion and concern of the American people in addressing problems.**
Great. Compassion and a check for $1 billion to “bolster global food security.” But what about the immediate needs of people who are hungry?
**At Toyako I'll also ask leaders of the G8 to make other important strategic moves to alleviate hunger, such as increasing the shipments of food, fertilizers and seeds to countries in need. It's one thing to talk about the problem; this is a practical way to help countries deal with the lack of food.**
Wow. What a visionary leader. Food for people who need food. Practical, indeed. Well, okay, Mr. Bush, you appear to have that covered. But while we’re on the subject of “security,” what do you plan to suggest as a “practical” solution for the problem of people killing each other in Africa, the Middle East, Myanmar, Tibet …?
**And also we're going to talk about the struggle against violent extremists. The temptation is to kind of say, well, maybe this isn't really a war, maybe this is just a bunch of disgruntled folks that occasionally come and hurt us. You know, that's not the way I feel about it. This is an ongoing, constant struggle to defend our own security, and at the same time, help people realize the blessings of liberty. I'll, of course, talk about Afghanistan and Iraq, and ask the G8 to continue to help.**
Okay, ask the G8 to help, but WHAT’S THE PLAN?

**First of all, anytime a troop loses their life, whether it be in Afghanistan, Iraq, or elsewhere, our hearts go out to their families. And I am so appreciative that, in a time of danger, Americans are willing to step up and volunteer and sacrifice.**
We’re glad you appreciate the sacrifice, Mr. Bush, especially since you’ve helped the troops sacrifice even more by extending their tours of duty. But what are you doing to end the need for the sacrifice?
**Secondly, it has been a tough month in Afghanistan, but it's also been a tough month for the Taliban. You know, one reason why there have been more deaths is because our troops are taking the fight to a tough enemy, an enemy who doesn't like our presence there because they don't like the idea of America denying safe haven. America is pressing an ideology that's opposite of theirs, and so, of course, there's going to be resistance.**
All right. After seven years, we’ve finally taken the fight to the Taliban in order to … what? … practice American love on them?
Well, better late than never, I suppose. But, if we’re taking a lot of casualties, is it possible that this new strategy may actually be counterproductive?
**I am confident that the strategy is going to work, which is to confront the Taliban, confront elements of al Qaeda, and at the same time, encourage the growth of a free society by good economic policy, good education policy, and good health policy.**
That’s fine, but I thought we had already done all of that in Afghanistan. Then what exactly what have we been doing for the past seven years?
**We're constantly reviewing troop needs, troop levels. We're halfway through 2008; as I said, we're going to increase troops by 2009. One thing, however, that you got to understand is that we have doubled Afghan troops -- coalition troops have doubled from two years ago. So there is an active presence and there are more troops there than there were. But we're constantly reassessing and seeing whether or not we can change tactics in order to achieve our objective.**
Thank you, Mr. President. I feel better already knowing that you’re constantly reassessing. Now if only I knew what the “objective” was. Any thoughts about Iran?
**I have always said that all options are on the table, but the first option for the United States is to solve this problem diplomatically. I've also make it clear -- made it clear that you can't solve a problem diplomatically unless there are other people at the table with you.**
Diplomatically? Other people at the table? I thought you’ve always said you wouldn’t talk to petty third-world dictators who want to kill us. What gives?
**And that is why we have been pursuing multilateral diplomacy when it comes to convincing the Iranians that the free world is sincere about, you know, insisting that they not have the technologies necessary to develop a nuclear weapon. And we're making progress along those lines. There's been the numerous Security Council resolutions, and in my recent trip to Europe I was very encouraged to see these leaders stand up and speak out about the need to keep our coalition active and keep the pressure on.**
Ah, now I understand. Diplomacy is good as long as WE don’t have to do it. Any final words, Mr. President?
**Listen, thank you very much. I've enjoyed being with you. I hope you've enjoyed being with me. You have? Thank you.**
Thank YOU, Mr. President. It was good for me, too. Now excuse me while I go take a shower.